The magic Box!!!

This is my poem hope you enjoy the poem. Please have have feedback!!

I put in the box

A magic flower.

The power of the tower in the box. The bit of lightning is

Frightening. A  bit of the sea salt summer water in the box.

I put in the box

A bit of power of the white tower, the morning sun light

A bit of the blue sky. A bit of the gold in the cold,

As the darkness of a night sky .

I put in the box

The light of the sunrise . the dark of the night , the light

Of the stars in the dark,  a zombie from Zimbabwe

A bit of the fluffy clouds

I put into the box

A piece of brown hair, a bit of the cold rain

A person on the black horse

The chair jump high as it can

My box is fashioned from gold,wood and glass

And grey steel hinges

I rode in my box

on a yellow beach in the box and riding on the sand

Jumping over the logs on the sand

A&P show

The Ocean Maker

 

The ocean maker

6th November rimu did a writing test. The test was about The Ocean maker. to see the movie Click the link. We saw a little bit of the movie and then you had to write what you think how the movie will go. The Process of writing. First we saw a little bit of the movie then we talked about what we:felt,character,wondering,plane,I saw,I think. after talker about it we planned on a piece of paper. after planning. We had to write the story.

Please Give Great feedback about my story and say what you liked😃😃

Sand stretches as far as the eye can see. Seeing the lighthouse in front of me, I don’t see anyone in the light house. Looking around the land seeing all the sand and the boats it's like I know that the water has gone all the water dryed up all the boats have dead people  in it

MY PLANE IS GOING DOWN:’ The plane has black smoke coming out of it. I land my plane broke down in the middle of nowhere I see the lighthouse it’s looking at the  ………….. Yes! that was what I had been looking for. White and fluffy cloud it's floating in the sky and it's coming my way yes!

but the lighthouse it's working but no know is at the Lighthouse.

I am going to the lighthouse to see who is in there i walk over to the lighthouse and i heard gunshots going off I dont know whats going. An old lady is in the lighthouse. I went into my plane again and i flyed off into  the sky and I saw another  plane the plane was making a big cloud i am thinking to myself i need to make it rain

If i just leave he to it No! i can Thinking to myself “ he can do it” but at the same time i don't know the gunshots got louder and louder.

I walked into a ship that had dead people.

It was that moment that i Know I had a knife in my heart……